Triple Threat: Perfectionism-Anxiety-Procrastination
This is a pattern I’ve seen quite often in my high-achieving, women clients.
It is exhausting. And you can change it.
Behaviors and thoughts that reflect this pattern might look like:
- “I can’t do this project perfectly, so I should wait until I have enough time.” (There’s never enough time). Worry for days about the impending project then pull an all-nighter to get it done the day it’s due. Then beat one’s self up about the quality of the work.
- “I will end up obsessing over drafts of this paper, so I should wait until I’m up against a deadline to limit how much time I have to obsess about whether it’s good enough.”
- “The last time I had a presentation, someone gave me negative feedback. I beat myself up about it for days. That won’t happen again. I will work harder this time.” Then work for hours and hours, with negative, racing thoughts: “Why are you such an idiot; why is this so hard for you; why aren’t you better at this, etc.” Avoid doing the work to avoid hearing these inner thoughts.
This suffering often happens in silence.
To change this dynamic, it takes:
- Cultivating your inner confidence, inner knowing, and self-compassion;
- Coming into a different relationship with your inner critic;
- Understanding the mindsets that undergird this pattern;
- Confronting the fear that failure will result if this pattern loosens;
- Practicing incremental shifts that disrupt these patterns.
I’ve walked myself through this as well as numerous clients. Are you ready to change this pattern in favor of a more life-giving inner world? Imagine how that would change your day-to-day life.
Rebecca Arnold, Executive & Leadership Coaching for High Achievers. www.rootcoachingconsulting.com
P.S. If you’re ready for something different, book at complimentary coaching appointment here.